Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Relational Ownership in The Black Community

Interraicial dating goes both ways, black men.
As far as everyone on the planet knows, I am a lesbian. I've dated womyn inside and outside my race, and (most) of them were wonderful. It is not that I purposely seek to date outside my race, it just simply that race isn't a factor.

Many black men have become bitter over black womyn's participation in womyn's liberation movements, and criticism of black men's marginalization of our issues. This has caused them to date interracially out of spite, with little to no interest in the womyn they date, or just lack of interest in relationships in general. This is dangerous for their psycological and relational health but that is not the oconcern of this piece.

There is this odd stigma against interracial dating within the black community (from both men and womyn), which I've tried to understand, but I simply just couldn't. Why is it, that we must OWN each other to be united as people? Why should every aspect of our lives rely on our race, to define our identity as black people, but nothing more? Yes, our race defines our struggle, but not every fiber of our being (or atleast, it doesn't have to). Black men are the ones to attempt to use interracial dating as some kind of weapon in an arsenal of harmless weaponry against our existence.

Black men should be able to love anyone. Including OTHER black men.
My problem with black men, is that they so desperately attempt to scare black womyn into submission, by threatening to date interacially. Even as a lesbian, I find this offensive. To them, we are still seen as weak, and in need of some kind of coddling, or discipline (from them!).

We are not so easily scared, to fall on our knees at your every whim, because you say you will date white/Hispanic/Latina/Asian/Native/(generally foreign) womyn. This does not scare us, and we are not owned by each other. You are always free to date whomever you please. It isn't your duty to purposely seek out, only black womyn as your companions.

Everyone deserves love and companionship, but nobody should have to be forced to give that. The image above, came from the (now closed) anti-womyn site "Mayor of Black Town", preaching hatred in the black community against other races. Why would anyone believe that black men are obligated to date and marry black womyn only (and vice-versa)?

We do not need to reinforce power structures, and the ideas that we are "kings" and "queens". We are simply human beings, and we have to act like it if we really want to be taken seriously.